Spoiler Alert: No Audrey Horne.

Each week since the 8th hour episode, I’m just so anxious at the start of every episode because I don’t know if it’s going to be a story progression episode or a history lesson, artistic montage type thing.  Just wanted to throw that out there!  Also…going to just go with each character instead of episode order.

This week we pick back up with resident jerk, Richard.  He’s driving a beat up little car into the outskirts of Twin Peaks, and he pulls up to the cutest little vintage trailer you’ve ever seen.  If it just had a quick power wash, this thing would be absolutely perfect.

Sure, still has Christmas stuff out, and this is going on in September, but whatever!  Before Richard can get to the door, Miriam comes to the door and tells him he’d better leave her alone, and she wrote a letter to the sheriff saying that he ran over that boy.  Richard loses it and kicks her door in, beats her up off camera (ew you could hear it) and after he leaves, we see that she’s laying in the floor, face down in blood, but still breathing, the oven is on and door open and a candle it lit.  But…he just kicked the door in, so I don’t think he thought this was thought all the way through.  As he’s walking back to his car, he calls Deputy Jerk Chad and tells him to intercept this letter before it gets to the sheriff.

Richard pulls up to Sylvia Horne’s home, where Johnny is sitting strapped into a chair, heavily bandaged and in a helmet, looking at the creepiest bear you’ve ever seen that just keeps saying “hello Johnny, how are you today?”  Sylvia tries to keep Richard out but he forces his way in, chokes her and throws her on the ground after getting her safe combination, and proceeds to rob her.  Meanwhile Johnny has fallen over in his chair and is even more helpless than he was before.  It’s established that Sylvia is Richard’s grandmother, so it’s really being set up that Richard is Audrey’s son, but they just aren’t saying it.  This was an incredibly difficult scene to watch.

Sylvia later calls Ben and says that he needs to pay her for the money that Richard stole from her.  He hangs up and asks Beverly if she will have dinner with him.

At the sheriff’s station, Chad and Lucy have a little exchange.  He mentions how it’s such a nice day, and how she and Andy must wake up every day being so happy about what a beautiful day it is.  She responds that sometimes it isn’t a beautiful day, and sometimes there isn’t time to recognize it, and one time they thought a clock stopped working but then they realized they didn’t know what time it was.  Chad notices the mailman pull up, and says that he’s going to go bring the mail in.  Chad takes the mail, Lucy is watching him from her window.  The mailman is looking at him very suspiciously, but Chad waves and he leaves.  Chad finds a letter from Miriam and stuffs it in her shirt, and brings Lucy the mail.  He then sends Richard a text saying “DONE.”

Over at the Fat Trout Carl is sitting outside of his Management trailer playing a song on his acoustic guitar.  He’s interrupted by a red cup bursting through the window of a trailer across the street.  We then see that Steven is yelling at Becky about some money issues.  She just looks horrified, and it seems like a mirror of what her mother, Shelly went through with Leo Johnson.

Jerry Horne is still lost in the woods, still wearing the same clothes, and he’s mad because he knows he’s been there before…I think he’s going to end up in the black lodge on accident.

There is a scene with one of the guys that owns the casino in Las Vegas where he is filling out some forms (Rodney Mitchum), and a girl in a cocktail waitress outfit (Candy) is following a fly around.  She’s trying to swat it with a bandana, then eventually grabs a TV remote and ends up smashing it into Rodney’s face.  We find out that he is one half of the Mitchum Brothers, and Jim Belushi’s character is the other brother, Bradley.  Later they are sitting around and Candy is inconsolable, crying hysterically over hitting Rodney, who doesn’t’ seem to care.  The brothers are watching the news, and they see that Ike the Spike was arrested.  They’re glad, because they had a hit out on him, and now they can save the money.  They also notice Dougie Jones, who they remember is Mr. Jackpots, and you assume they thought Dougie Jones was a fake name.

We get a short scene of Duncan Todd telling Tony (Dougie’s coworker that Dougie called out for lying in the meeting) that he needs to meet with the Mitchum brothers.  They are Duncan’s enemy, and they need to think that Dougie foiled their plot to get $30 million for a hotel fire than he deemed arson instead of an accident.  Also, if he didn’t have them kill Dougie, he’d be responsible for killing Dougie.

Back in the Mitchum’s casino, they see Tony come in and wonder “what the insurance guy is doing here” and ask Candy (several times before she responds) to go get him.  They watch from the monitors as Candy goes down to Tony, and she proceeds to look all around the casino floor, waving her arms around, and the Mitchums are all of us watching that sweeping scene from a few weeks ago.  They get one of the security guys close and yell at him to get them up to the office.

When they get back up stairs, the Mitchums ask Candy what they were talking about, and she says the weather, and the air conditioning, and the building or something, it’s just really silly.  Something is seriously up with these girls, like maybe they’ve been lobotomized.  They ask Tony what he’s doing at the casino, and he says he wanted them to know that they have an enemy in Douglas Jones, and he’s why they’re not getting the insurance money, “a personal vendetta” and on and on, to which the brothers just reply “yea” and “okay” like they really don’t care.  Later back in their hotel room Rodney is eating tums like candy, so it’s very obvious they are very upset.  They want to set up a meeting with Douglas Jones, who has taken them for basically $31 million dollars.

We get another scene with Nadine watching Dr. Jacoby (who is going by Dr. Amp, I don’t know if I’ve mentioned that before) and he’s ranting away.  He’s like Alex Jones, but also seems to be pro marriage equality; it’s very confusing.  We also see that Nadine got those silent drape runners off the ground and has a storefront and even has one of Dr. Amp’s golden shovels displayed in the window.

Elsewhere we see Albert and Constance (mortician lady) on a little date, and Cole is watching from a distance.  Tammy comes over, they both look at the date and they’re kind of giggling to each other.  Later on Cole is in his hotel room, doodling.

There’s a knock at the door, so he gets up and when he opens the door, he gets a vision of Laura Palmer.  Specifically, it’s Laura from Fire Walk with Me when she runs to Donna’s  house (after she discovers Bob and her dad are the same…spoiler) and is crying and asks if Donna is her best friend.  As it fades away, we see that Albert is at the door, and he comes in and tells Cole about the text Diane got from Bad Cooper.  We also find out that she text  back and said “They have Hastings, he’s going to take them to the place” and Cole says that he knew something was up when she hugged him.  Another knock at the door, and Tammy comes in and says that they got a photo from one of the early cards in the room with the box in New York, and it’s Bad Cooper meeting with someone in an overcoat.

The Log Lady calls Hawk, and she tells him “There is electricity humming” everywhere, the the Truman brothers are true men, and they are his brothers.  She says the circle is almost complete, and that Laura is the one.  The whole thing is very mysterious.  Hawk only listens to the call.

And then there’s Dougie.  Janey finally takes him to the doctor!  The doctor takes off his shirt, and comments on his weight loss.  She starts to take his stats, noting his perfect blood pressure.  Janey also comments on his weight loss, and it’s like she’s never seen Dougie since he came back.  I mean, he is chiseled.  I’m having a hard time believing this isn’t photoshopped.  Janey is obviously very happy about it.  They get back home, and Janey is kind of a mess just watching Dougie eat some cake.  She’s giving him the look, asking if he finds her attractive, to which he eats cake.  She says she finds him attractive, and the next thing you know they’re upstairs in bed.  THEY WOKE UP SONNY JIM!  The next morning Janey’s chip on her shoulder has obviously been knocked off, and she’s just so happy with Dougie.

We end with a very, very long, slow song in the Roadhouse.  Everyone seems to be losing their minds over this song, but I was just waiting for anything else to happen, and then it didn’t, and I was annoyed.  It was nice, but I didn’t really feel it.  Even hearing it again just gets me irritated for some reason.  And that’s it!  No new theories for the week, but I’d love to hear yours!  Until next time, happy sewing!