Because I love watching things and telling others about those things!

This season I’m covering this series in two parts.  Since there are only 6 episodes, and they’re mostly long episodes, I just thought I’d give an overview of 3 at a time.  Now, this season started out fast and hard with some very meta stuff like Bran flat out saying “we don’t have time for this” and gives a quick recap of the impending threats coming for Winterfell upon the meeting between Sansa, Daenerys and Jon.  They have come north with all of Daenerys’ army, and they were getting all kinds of shady looks from everyone in the north, which is one of those moments when you realize ‘oh this is the first time they’ve ever seen someone that isn’t super white and grouchy’ and also ‘oh they’ve also never seen dragons’ because when they flew up the people scattered.

I’m not super into the tension between Sansa and Daenerys, because it feel so strange.  It’s just like last season when Sansa and Arya were at odds, which turned out to be just them working it out and turning it on Petyr Baelish (RIP).  But it also feels like Sansa is jealous Jon loves Daenerys and she’s jealous, and that’s gross because they’re (in her minds anyway!) brother and sister (and now in Jon’s mind, cousins, either way related and ew.)  I also am not into this Sansa being turned against Jon basically because he went to rally troops to help defend the north and everyone’s mad about it?  That’s ridiculous.  He’s literally working to help save the WORLD, sorry he had to go on a road trip and found love along the way.

Sansa calls upon House Umber to ask where their men are, and the boy lord (you know what, you throw me a character that I can’t remember his name, this is what happens) says he needs some more things, and then heads for the hills to go gather their troops to bring them back to Winterfell, which we find out later doesn’t go over well.  Later we see that the groups from Eastwatch (The Wall post that was blown through by the Night King) both ended up at Last Hearth, (aka House Umber’s home) and they run into each other there.  They also find the boy lord, pinned to a wall, and he’s now a wight.  The Eastwatch crew decides they need to high tail it to Winterfell and warn them they’ve got basically no time to waste.

Sam is down there in the library (There are better things to do right now, Sam!) and while he’s down there, Jorah and Daenerys come down and she thanks him for saving Jorah and curing his greyscale.  He replies that all he really needs is a pardon for taking some books from the Citadel (lol) and he took his family sword, which is when Daenerys realizes she made a bbq out of his father and brother.  She reveals this information, which really shatters Sam, and he holds it together and leaves.

Meanwhile in the still pretty warm Kings Landing, Euron Greyjoy shows up with the Golden Company from Essos.  He’s also dead set on sleeping with Cersei.  Gross.  Cersei asks the commander of the Golden Company about the army she’s bought, including elephants, to which he replies that they couldn’t bring elephants because they couldn’t have made the voyage, much to her dismay.  I mean this may be the closest we’ve seen Cersei to crying since her children have died.  Euron then starts asking Cersei to pay him back for all he’s done for her.  Euron has brought him the person who killed her daughter, an army, everything she’s asked for and he needs something to prove she’s not lying about them being together after the war.  We get a post coital scene where Euron is basically asking how he measures up (again, gross) but she’s still very hung up on those elephants.  (Cersei really just wants to watch Dumbo, y’all.)  He then says that he’s going to put a prince in her belly (again, just gross) and in Cersei’s mind, this is a way to make her Jamie baby she’s already carrying “legit” and claim it’s Euron’s.  She just can’t be good, y’all.

Bronn is doing what he does best, visiting brothels, when Maester Qyburn interrupts with a proposal from Cersei to kill her brothers with the crossbow that Tyrion used to kill their father, Tywin for a whole lot of gold.

While this is all going on, we see Yara Greyjoy, still tied up as Euron’s prisoner, is saved by her brother Theon.  They have a moment where she head buts him because you know, don’t jump off a boat instead of saving your sister, but also thanks for saving your sister later.  Yara says she’s going to take the fleet back to the Iron Islands because if Daenerys can’t win against the army of the dead, she needs to have a place to retreat to.  Theon agrees, but he wants to help defend Winterfell, so they part ways.

Back in Winterfell we see everyone is gearing up for battle.  Weapons are being made from dragonglass, Arya requests a special weapon, everyone’s being put into armor because literally everyone’s going to have to do something.  While this is all going on, Jamie Lannister arrives and is met with a blank stare from Bran, who just so you know, has been giving this dead face stare to everyone in Winterfell.  Arya and Jon have a moment where they finally get to talk after years, they compare their weapons, and then Jon asks where she’s been, she could have used her help with Sansa to try and get her to be nicer with Daenerys, and Arya says that Sansa is the smartest person she knows, completely to Jon’s surprise.  She’s changed, Jon, she’s been through it!

Speaking of going through it, there’s a very Disney moment where Jon and Daenerys ride on dragons together to a beautiful waterfall and have a really sweet moment of making out with THE DRAGONS STARING THEM DOWN!  Later in the episode, Jon is down in the crypts (they spend a lot of time burning torches down there) and Sam comes down there, obviously he’s been crying, and he asks Jon would he have made a bbq of his dad and brother too, because he’s a just ruler and has forgiven people.  Jon tries defending her and also says she’s the rightful heir, and that’s when Sam says “um, actually” and reveals that he’s the son of Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark, and he’s Aegon Targaryen, the rightful heir to the iron throne.

YIKES Jon realizes he’s fallen in love with HIS AUNT.  Also, poor Jon keeps getting promoted at a job he’s trying to quit every week.

Jamie is held to a quick trial to see #1 what’s he doing here with his one hand (rude) #2 where’s the Lannister army and #3 why should anyone trust him.  Reminder: Jamie killed Daenerys’ father, and she’s basically grown up wanting to get revenge.  Tyrion tries to defend Jamie for coming to Winterfell knowing that he’d not be welcomed, to which Daenerys looks at him as well like “you know him just like you know your sister” so he’s on thin ice with her.  Sansa also chimes in saying that Jamie also betrayed her family, and she doesn’t trust him either, and Bran repeats what Jamie said when he pushed him out of the window “the things we do for love” which, Jamie just turns white.  When Jamie is going on saying yes, my sister lied, but I’m here to fight for the living, not the dead, and I have done bad things but I would have done them because he was being loyal to his family.  The reason he’s in Winterfell is because this goes beyond loyalty, and he shoots a look over to Brienne as if to say “I was listening when you said that,” and then Brienne gets up and deffends Jamie.  She retells how Jamie lost his hand defending her, he put her in armor and gave her a sword so that she could defend Sansa after he vowed an oath to Catelyn Stark.  After that, Sansa pulls a complete about face and Daenerys basically sets her on fire with her eyes.  Daenerys then asks Jon what he thinks about all of this, and he very uncomfortably says we need every man we can get, and Daenerys begrudgingly says “fine” and he’s free to stay.

Jorah meets with Daenerys and basically convinces her not to be mad at Tyrion, that he’s got a good mind and he’s just messed up some.  He reminds her that he has also messed up and she’s forgiven him.  He also talks her into trying to make up with Sansa, which is where she goes next.  Sansa basically says she should have been thankful for Daenerys’ help when she showed up, but she’s worried that Jon is blindly following her because he’s in love.  Daenerys says that she’s the one who is blindly following Jon, because her whole goal is to take the iron throne, and here she is fighting for the North for Jon.  Sansa seems to be cutting her some slack, but then asks what about after the war, what about the North?  We’re not bowing down to anyone, and Daenerys once again seems like she wants to burn Sansa alive.  Before she can really answer her, Daenerys is called away to see that Theon has arrived to fight for the North.  Sansa is so glad to see Theon, they embrace, it’s sweet.

There’s a situation room scene where all the house leaders what forces will be where, they decide that Bran is going to stay out by the face tree (weirwood? okay fine) and Theon and the ironborn are going to defend him because the Night King will come after him.  The women and children are going to hide in the crypts, Daenerys also says that Tyrion needs to be down there because there’s only one of him.

Afterwards, there are lots of talks between different people in front of the fire in the hall of Winterfell.  All in all it’s Tyrion, Jamie, Brienne, Podrick, Tormund and Davos by the end of it, while they’re all trickling in.  It was really fantastic to see everyone reminiscing and drinking and basically trying to come to terms with they might die in the morning.  During this time Tormund (The redheaded wildling that is obsessed with Brienne) regales that he’s called Giantsbane because he killed a giant at 10 years old and suckled at a giant woman’s tet for three months and that’s why he’s so strong.  Tormund also discovers that Brienne isn’t a knight, which he thinks is stupid, and Jamie decides to do the nicest thing he’s ever done, because he’s a knight, he can knight Brienne.  He knights her, and it’s honestly so touching, try not to cry.

We also see a scene where Arya is questioning why the Hound is fighting for them, he only fights for himself, and he says that he fought for her.  After Patches (Apparently his name is Beric, not today, he has an eye patch, he’s been “patched up” several times by the Lord of Light, his name is Patches) joins in, Arya peaces out and goes to find Gendry to get her weapon.

Arya goes down to the blacksmithing place and finds out that Gendry is a Robert Baratheon bastard, and he only found out after Melisandre bought him from when they were held by the Brothers without Banners.  She gives him the third degree about being with other women and they hook up because “she wanted to know what it was like before she died” and it was uncomfortable even though they’re both adults.

Down in the crypts, Jon is at Lyanna Stark’s tomb, where Daenerys finds him.  She says she’s confused why her brother Rhaegar would have raped her, it didn’t seem to fit his character, and Jon says “um actually” and tells her that his real name is Aegon Targaryen, that he’s their child, they were married in secret, Bran saw it and Sam read about the marriage.  Daenerys, very single mindedly, notes that #1 that’s a little convenient, your best friend and brother knew this, and #2 that makes you the last male Targaryen, and he has a claim to the iron throne.  What Jon doesn’t understand is that incest isn’t a big deal to Targaryens, and so he’s kind of shocked by her reaction.  Before much more can be said between them, they have to go above because the army of the dead is very close.

Everyone goes to their place; we see the Dothraki screamers are all out there, then the knights of the Vale, the random scrounged together army of random people that have all come together, and the Unsullied split in front of and behind them.  Daenerys and Jon are camped out at a cliff where they can see everything with the dragons and they’ll be ready to jump in when needed.  Arya and Sansa are up on the wall over the gates, Lyanna Mormont (My teddybear queen! -I say that because their house sigil is a bear, not just because she’s 12-) is inside the wall shouting out orders, Bran is out there by that tree with the Ironborn protecting him, and it seems like things are about to kick off when there’s a lone horse rider comes out from the darkness.  It’s the red woman Melisandre, and she uses the Lord of Light’s magic and sets all of the Dothraki screamers’ scicles ablaze.  Davos still wants to kill her, but she said not to worry, she’ll be dead before the dawn.

They hear the screeches and sounds that the army of the dead make, and the Dothraki charge forward with some of the scrounged up army.  One by one, all of the Dothraki flames go out, and we see Jorah and a few random scragalers high tailing it back.  Arya gives Sansa a dagger and tells her to go to the crypts, saying “stab them with the pointy end.”  Shortly afterwards the army of wights storms forward, and the fighting begins.  I can’t give a complete play-by-play because there is literally so much, but here’s the footnotes:

Sam gets knocked down, and when his friend Edison (The black haired Wall friend) helps him up and tells him to get up and fight, Edison is killed by a wight.  Sam lives and continues to fight.

Brienne, Jamie, Podrick and Tormund all stand up and fight nonstop.  Jorah is also fighting, and eventually runs off to find Daenerys.  Does he have some sort of sixth sense or something?  I don’t know.

Jon and Daenerys are flying on their dragons looking for the Night King, and he finds them first, there is a dragon fight, the Night King is thrown from his dragon, Jon is thrown from his dragon after a crash landing, and Daenerys sees the Night King alone.  She tries to burn him to a crisp, to which he walks out UNSCATHED. (maybe he’s a secret Targaryen! Lol just kidding)  The next thing you know a swath of wights start attacking Daenerys’ dragon, so she has to get on the ground, and Jon runs off to try to protect Bran from the Night King.  Jorah shows up just in time to help Daenerys fight off a bunch of wights, and once it seems like they’re in the clear, one final wight comes up and kills Jorah.  Daenerys is heartbroken, and cries over him, all while being covered by her returned dragon.

The dead are literally climbing over the walls of Winterfell, and a giant wight breaks through the gates of Winterfell and smacks Lyanna Mormont right out of the way. (I gasped!) and the little badass that she is, she stands right back up, bleeding and starts charging the giant.  The giant picks her up, squeezing her to death, and when it seems like he might eat her, she screams and stabs him in the eye, killing him.  Rest in peace, my little teddy bear queen!!

Arya is tearing through wights like nobody’s business, but even she starts to get overwhelmed by the sheer numbers of them.  Patches has to tell the Hound he needs to get it together, to which the Hound says there’s no way they can beat death.  Patches tells him “tell that to her” and points to Arya, literally killing it.  She ends up inside of Winterfell, and basically trying to get away from all of the wights that are just mindlessly wandering, looking for life to end.  She gets through a room full of them, gets into a hallway, then she’s chased through the halls by a large gang of wights.  Arya, the Hound and Patches all meet up, and the Hound picks Arya up and runs her to safety, while Patches is stabbed to death by wights so that they can escape.  They pull him into a room and wait for the wights to clear out, as Melisandre lets her presence be known in the room.  Arya and Melisandre have a moment remembering when they met before, and how Melisandre predicted she would close many eyes, to which Arya said she was correct.

“Brown eyes, green eyes, and blue eyes”

As it seemed like the wights may break into the room, Melisandre says “and what do we say to the God of Death” and Arya replies “not today” and she bolts for the window.

Jon is out there, fighting off wights like he’s done before, and he sees the Night King.  He starts running after him ready to strike, when the Night King sees him, and RAISES ALL OF THE DEAD IN WINTERFELL.

YES, ALL OF THE DEAD, INCLUDING THE DEAD IN THE CRYPTS.

The dead start crawling out of the tombs, and start killing the unarmed women and children.  At this point, Sansa and Tyrion look at eachother, it looked like they might be giving up and going to end it, but they start defending the people in the crypts.

The fighting within the walls of Winterfell has basically been reset, and it’s looking very grim.  The Night King’s dragon has blasted through the stone walls, and Jon is basically hiding from it until he can get the best shot at killing it.

Theon and the Ironborn are basically depleted, but still protecting Bran, when suddenly the the wights stop fighting, and the Night King and his other white walker crew all come up, and it’s obvious that there is nothing more that can be done.  Bran thanks Theon and tells him that he’s a good man, and Theon makes one last attempt and runs at the Night King with a spear, which the Night King snaps in half and stabs Theon.  The Night King takes a slow walk up to Bran, who is STILL JUST STARING LIKE, NO BIG DEAL, JUST CHILLING BY MY TREE, (gah!!!  I know he can’t do a whole lot, but at least look a little worried!) and as he reaches for his sword, there is a sudden little wisp, a gust of air, and ARYA!!!

Arya who has literally been blind and learned to fight in the dark, became a faceless man, has killed people, baked them into pies and fed those man-pies to her enemies, and then killed said enemies.  Arya who has been hell bent on killing anyone who has wronged her since like, the third episode of this entire show!  Never conforming to social norms Arya!

She flies out of NOWHERE, dagger drawn, and is going to stab the Night King right in the back!  The Night King grabs her by the throat, and just when you think he’s going to kill her, she drops the dagger from the higher hand, grabs it with her lower hand, and stabs him right in the belly with her Valyrian steel dagger, and he SHATTERS.  As he shatters, all of the white walkers shatter, the wights crumble, and the battle is over.

As the episode comes to and end, the sun is about to come up, Melisandre walks out into the open, takes off her magical necklace, ages to an elderly woman and falls down dead.

With only three more episodes left, there isn’t much more to do than fight Cersei and battle over the throne (not to mention The Hound vs The Mountain), but they’ve already done this much this season in just three episodes, I think we’ll get that.  What do you think of this season so far?  What do you want to see coming up?  I’m sad to see it end, but I’m also equally excited to see how it ends.  I’m also excited to make some sigil plushies, and naming them after my favorites of those houses.  I’ll wrap this up after the final episode, so until then, happy watching!